Work The Pain Away (Save the Last Week)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BVfvFMbjp9P/?taken-by=_dreamingangel_
https://www.instagram.com/p/BXjfxUODLsk/?taken-by=_dreamingangel_ 💖💗💘😇

The LAST Week

Oddly enough, thinking of what to write for this blog entry was a bit more challenging than for the others probably because I learnt a lot. I definitely, learnt a lot more than I expected I would have, not only because of being open up to opportunities but I ended up having some things I could reflect on- which I’ll probably divulge into in a few minutes. This week, I worked at Carifesta (this is the biggest festival in the region for the summer and arguably the most anticipated one as well) and even though a chunk of knowledge came from there a lot more came from when it was over, through reflection. All, in all Carifesta itself was fun; I meet some super cool artists, designers, models, and authors! I tried green tea, ate all natural foods and caribbean foods, bought all natural, flower shaped bath bombs and soaps, tried creams with specially made dyes, tried on jewelry, got photos taken of me for portfolios for photographers, made some new friends with the volunteers and met some really important people and Italian fashion designers (they were definitely my fav set of people). I watched traditional Trini Indian dancers, steel pan players, men and women on stilts, saw Henna and Moringa pre packaged, watched fashion shows, attended book lounges, wrote up excel docs, wrote up reports and had to call all sorts of boths and delegates from other islands (this was a bit weird since they all thought I was older on the phone lol).

    I did get stressed out a bit, when I didn’t understand what I had to do at some points but I managed to get it all done properly, and I have a newfound respect for EVERYONE who organises any event. It’s definitely not that fun, getting everything to flow together but it is worth it in the end.No one was a slacker in the bookstore though, I found that everyone worked really hard, took minimum lunch and worked until they couldn’t possibly do any more. This was especially true for Erica and Jason- Erica worked excruciatingly hard, and was always on the go for the entire festival with some new task and with delegates constantly seeking her out from virtually every country there. Jason, also was busy and by the end of it all they all looked exhausted but really proud of how successful the bookstore was and I’m glad that it ran smoothly because everyone put in 100% effort- even Kibwe and he couldn’t come because he had tech stuff to do back at the office.

Okay, I’ll cut this short and break it down again because it’s getting too long winded and boring now so prepare for the 411!!!!💝💙💗

31/7/17, Monday (Bright, Young Things)

24/8/17, Thursday (An attempt at a Poetic Realisation)

I wanted to subtitle this piece called "Poetic Realisation" but then I remembered that I was taking myself far too seriously and that was a tab too much. Just a tab though😉😖.                           
 I’ve always had a bit of an issue with expressing my feelings. Theories, concepts & skills, ideas & insight into what makes things work, what motivates people come naturally to me but reflecting on feelings and thoughts tying together and meshing as one has always been my weak point. This is the underlying reason, that I was always better at solo work than team work- don’t get me wrong, I can get along with people well. I’ve never had a problem with making lots of good friends or enjoying high quality healthy friendships, but I never did really understand the real importance or point of team work (or working with/in a team) until today (I think I still don’t fully, I mean I’ve only ruminated on it for about an hour to be candid lol).

 To me, I would rather do things by myself- it’s not that I don’t think others are capable I just for as long as I could remember liked doing my own thing. I hate feeling like I am tied to someone or something. Tied with the responsibility of disappointing or of failing in a role, of not adequately being enough or more likely in my case being too much (aha I’m extra lol, I can’t help my dramatic flair). Today, my mum and some people that I honestly do respect and like from SEED counseled on my temper and impulsive action. (As soon as I typed counselled me I felt like I was some weirdo in a movie who had serious MH issues so I decided to clarify lol. Also I know my friends are afficious so nooo, I didn’t get in trouble *rolls eyes*.) I’ll be honest- I contemplated putting this in because it really isn’t anyone’s business but then I remembered that the vast majority of people reading my blog already know me ,and have known me for years and it isn’t anything embarrassing or unprofessional so I shall type away. I am a pretty passionate and happy, vivacious person, which are definitely my defining positive traits and on the flip side I can also get very passionate and furious and impulsive if I think I’ve been unfaired or slighted. I try to temper this but when I get angry, I know that I get angry in big explosive bouts- it doesn’t happen often, mostly because I don’t feel unfaired often but it isn’t such a rare occurrence either that I can’t logically see that it is a pattern of sorts. I expected to hear bad things, but in the end I could tell that the leadership team at SEED honestly wants nothing but the best for me (and all of the other interns of course) but to know that they actually cared like pass a superficial level of knowing our names, future job prospects etc it made me feel (lol well idk how it made me feel since I’m terrible at expressing feelings lol ) but it made me feel something melancholic and I guess I didn’t expect that but because of it I do want to try and tame my temper (when it flares up) .